PartyintheUSA

the all american girl:

go ahead, fall for her, it's fun

gimme my shirt back female

happy birthday babe, 

i love you and i might be in love with you

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SuckitbySina

I'm Serious

i'm a bad babysitta

got my boyfriend in the showa

You're looking at the worlds number one YMCA camp counselor. Yea I went there. I know who the hell thought I should do that? I'm the king of the playground: tetherball, handball, four-square, hop-scotch, basketball. It's honestly like being back in the second grade but this time I'm the coolest kid in school. Yea I do feel good scoring a basket against a third grader that is about 3 foot 4 inches tall. Most of the time I walk around complimenting peoples coloring and singing the YMCA song, arm motions and all. Things are good.

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SuckitbySina

SecretDiaryofaCallGirl

"I love London. I love its rudeness, its lack of community, its impatience. I even love its weather. But most of all, I love its anonymity. The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore. In a world of children in bikinis and grandmas in fucking boots, the surest way to tell a prostitute is to look for the woman in the designer suit."

Billie Piper as Belle de Jour

icanteachyouhowtodoit

I've just finished watching all three seasons of Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I really want to become an escort. But I was thinking I should only have sex with women that are looking to pay. But then I thought what women are out there paying for sex? They can just give it away. But if I only have sex with women then it would be even more like a job and I could almost justify it, because I wouldn't be enjoying it well that much. I've never cared about having someone around all the time, it seems less natural to me. I couldn't figure out why for the longest time and frankly I can't now either. I think it's because of how selfish I am with how I spend my time.  Someone I slept with e-mailed me my horoscope with a title line that said, "This explains a lot." It actually did and I sent back a reply that said, "See it's the stars fault that I'm an asshole!"

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SuckitbySina

SmoothCriminal

REAL MEN USE A BLADE

When I was packing up my apartment I threw my electric razor into a box and put it into storage. Not really smart thinking when you are going to need it all summer. So I bought some razors and borrowed some shaving cream and was about to go at it, when I looked at Emma and stopped. The idea of putting a blade to my face was hugely disheartening especially after years of hearing girls bitch about cuts from razors on their legs. I like my face the way it is and I recently added a scar to my left cheek (thanks Dexter) and am not looking to start a collection. So Emma and I decided to do our research. We YouTubed "how to shave" and watched the black man in the video below. Some people have their dads show them the ropes, some turn to black men on YouTube for help. Finally I was ready to grow a pair and do the damn thing. Emma snapped a pic as I tentatively took my first swipe. Basically it's just like using those window washers at the gas station and I don't know why no one had never told me that before. 

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SuckitbySina

DrugDealerGirl

Now ya may never be on the maybelline commercial

butcho always let me know when you got some purple

mike posner

He has this voice that when you sing along you feel like you sound exactly like him. Try it! That and the lyrics are just on point.

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SuckitbySina