Blackberry Vizion

The phone has hit an all new rock bottom. As if parts of the screen missing wasn't bad enough, Elise decided to drown me in her Jack-and-Coke one night. Result: my entire phone's keypad gets soaked and sticky. It's besides the point that she was retaliating against me undressing her in the middle of Frenchman in New Orleans. After it's alcohol poising my Blackberry entered an intense rehab detox program, which consisted of being buried in a jar of rice every night. Not fried with an egg on top, just regular, white, uncooked. Much like when old people try to recover from a breaking a hip, she's easing back into it.

The crappy camera still comes in handy though and more Blackberry Vizions like this coming.

Olive or was it Viola had to use the restroom at Toad's Hall(?) in the Castro the other night. The boys were taking their sweet ass time and she wasn't having it. (Babe this urinal thing is quickly becoming a habit. I'm concerned. I take that back, I'm intrigued.) Anyway the only problem was that the urinal left her no access to toilet paper. We then spent ten long minutes trying to convince the man in the stall to pass us some. NO FUCKING MERCY. He cold-hearteningly ignored our drunken pleads and offers of money and over the pants handjobs. Fucking bastard, but Viola let him know that she thought he was mean and I told him he had "moobs."

[Yes, that is her out-stretched arm begging for toilet paper under the stall door.]