Boobs for BoobMansion

The residents of Boob-Mansion requested that there be more boobs on SuckItBySina. What a huge shock and I totally agree with them. So here are some boobs. Knock yourself out...with these knockers. Girls don't cross me, cause you know my iPhoto is stocked with your boobs and yes, I had consent.

And for some mindless humor like fighting kittens check out their blog: www.boobmansion.blogspot.com

Never Been Accused of Being Brilliant

PhotoCred- EmmaMars

I've never been accused of being brilliant, but that's what I'm thinking this chick is. USF is a small school, but I still don't recognize the alleged "Ryan Kelly." Has he gone into hiding, waiting for the backlash of these fliers to subside? I wish there was more, I usually do though. What kind of STD? Gurl got the herps? The only mistake the girl made was to put herself on the flier to. Stupid slut, now everyone else is going to think your vajayjay smells like expired milk mixed with orangutan puke. Ugh I need a smoke.

Daily Dealbreaker

After a brief hiatus, DealBreakers are BACK with a bang at SuckItBySina and we have a very important issue to discuss. EvatheDiva has a bone to pick and there ain't no stopping her:

Dealbreaker #15: If you wear mandals (man-sandals) with socks.

This horrendous fashion crime can most often be seen Sunday afternoon when your dad is rocking his Tommy Bahama shirt, khaki shorts and Teva sandals with white socks. We have all seen it before- maybe it’s your grandpa, your boss or the guy sitting next to you on the airplane. Either way, it’s unacceptable. I mean, I just don’t get it. Aren't you wearing sandals because your feet are hot? Isn't it summer, and you just want to keep cool somehow? So why are you wearing socks? The whole point of wearing sandals is keep the air flowin’ through your toes. Unfortunately, I think most men do it because they actually think it looks good. Or at least normal. WRONG! Let SuckItBySina be the one to break it to you, this look is about as sexy as a fanny pack and pocket protector. Unless you're a 10th grade science teacher or my dad, this look is inappropriate.

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life

Thank god it's Thursday! Classic one hit wonder Indeep from the 80's keeps the beat moving with that funky stuff. Get it gurl, get it get it gurl. Last night a dj saved my life...

GURL, POP OFF

Gurls and boys, gather around there is something you should know. Gurl, pronounced geu-rrr-l, is a word that should be common place in your vocabulary. I use it towards anyone and everyone. My own father raises an eyebrow when I say things like "Gurl, where you had been gurl?" This brings me to the main reason why this word is so powerful. There is simply nothing better than calling a straight boy "gurl," because they immediately get confused as to who you are talking to. Once they realize it's obviously their dumb-ass a few things will happen. For 2 whole second their masculinity will be questioning, leaving them silent, contemplating, and passing gas. Then either they'll play along, which is fun but boring. OR they take the macho-route, which goes something like this:

You: You got a lighter gurl?

Boy: uhh WHO YOU CALLING GURL?

You: (Turn to your friend and say): "She is PISSED." This gets you an even bigger freakout, exactly what you wanted, to which you can reply, "Gurl calm down."

That should send them fuming, but if at that point they haven't picked up on the beauty of the "gurl talk" then they can, well, SUCKIT. Be aware in regions that consume high quantities of Natty-Ice and Jagarmeister, aka Riverside and Chico, because the men can be a little less forgiving, which may result in a Jersey-Shore-Snooki-Getting-Punched-Scenario. Upon introduction I love to ask people how they spell gurl and 9 out of 10 times people reply G-U-R-L, but it's the tenth person that spitefully says "G-I-R-L, DUH," who I immediately can't trust and gives me a bad taste in my mouth. Your skeptical now gurl, but trust me after a few cocktails your going to be calling your grandpa gurl this and gurl that.

WE'RE ALL GROWN UP!

Mama made things a little bit easier for ya! Thanks to godaddy.com, we bought a gay-lover domain on the world-wide motha fuckin web. Faaancy, I know. Now launching www.suckitbysina.COM. The "blogspot" in the address bar was adding a few unwanted pounds. Don't worry if you still insist on typing www.suckitbysina.blogspot.com, you'll still land here for your fix of SuckItBySina. Thanks for checking in ya freaks and keep at it because we're coming back with huge piles of more steaming poo non-sense. And besides, the shorter name is going to look so much better on the printed stuff we have in the works. YesNoYesNoYes?No!Yes! Shhhh...

I seen a rainbow yesterday

P-Diddy Syndrome $$$

P-Diddy Syndrome: Are you or someone you love suffering from PDS?

The P-diddy syndrome is becoming a worldwide epidemic amongst young professionals and some older ones too. I have an especially bad case of PDS. This syndrome can be best described by a person who thinks they are rich and famous, when in reality they live with their parents and spend all their money on poppin’ bottles, vacations and shopping. I personally did not think this is a problem until I realized that all my other working friends and peers put their money into this thing called a savings account. Anyone know what that is?? I could have sworn that animal has been extinct since the early 1990’s.

Let’s get into some examples so you can evaluate whether you too are suffering from PDS:

1. You go on more than 10 vacations a year but make less than 60k annually.

2. Got a quarter tank of gas in your new E-class.

3. Can’t pay your rent because you bought the most beautiful pair of jade Christian Louboutin patent leather pumps.

4. Go to the club intending to mooch off of the fist dumb drunk guy that has a table but instead end up buying your own table.

5. Your contemplating dating the T-Mobile guy, to ensure getting new blackberrys on the regular. You catch my drift.

As of today, there is no cure for the P-diddy syndrome. So until medical professionals discover the magic anti-PDS pill, play on playa. GTL (gym-tan-laundry) and fist pumpin’ 4-life.

(Evathediva broke it down real nice for us, but send in your experiences with PDS. Get the help you deserve, together we can fight the fight against PDS.)

Hotel Rooms and Polaroids

"Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it." -Yves Saint

My diva named Eva loves a late night photo session. Master poser baby, hows your ego now?

MAJOR Sitaution

Looks like my gurl Eva found herself in a SITUATION

Holy shit. There is a MAJOR situation on our hands and it's a little show called Jersey Shore. I know you've seen it because everyone has. I've literally had 35 minute conversations with complete strangers about how Sammy needs to stop blaming Ronnie for stupid things. "Rawwwwwnie, don't make fun of my big toe. Seeriously that's personally issues." You can sit there and be disgusted with these people OR you can shutup and get on board already. The thing is sometimes, very rarely, people can be so ghetto, so fucked-up on the spectrum that they actually do a 180 and end up on the fabulous side of things. If you need another example it's New York from "Flavor of Love" and later her own shows. That chick literally has "Princess" tattood an her fake tight, with 4 inch nails, smoking a Pall Mall Menthol, and STILL comes off as a classy gurl. Heading back to the Jersey Shore: on the Real World you hit someone YOU OUT. In this show you get hit and your appearance costs goes from $2,000 to $10,000 (Snooki!) and you get to stay on and keep partying at Kharma. I know where I'll be spending Spring Break this year. Fist pump!

LOOT LIVES ON

Can't make a hoe a housewife!

GURL WHERE'S MY CAR?

Sundays are suppose to be a little more normal. You're winding down with many naps and citing things like "took a shower" or "emptied my ashtray" as highlights in activity, showing the day's lack of prolonged significance. You try to go to bed reasonably early but end up watching a poor netflix choice, thanks for recommending that jerk, and getting high. But for a certain girl whose made a splash (wink) or two on SuckitbySina before this Sunday ended with a little more baggage.

"Lindsay" was on her way out with a car full of her gays and girls. The night's events were set into motion when Lindsay ran her car into the bumper of another mass of metal on the road. The guy driving the other car got out and Lindsay did her victory-jig that their wasn't any damage done to his car. The man then accused Lindsay of being drunk, ce n'est pas vrai!, to which she casually replied, "Of course not! But, we're going out to a bar right now. Come along and I'll buy you a drink and we'll call it even."

Pretty girl invites you out for a drink? Done deal: the guy and his friend were both obviously down for that plan and everyone headed to the bar. Somewhere between 4 and 14 jamesons and a few hours of bonding, Lindsay was in no state to drive her car. She was spending the night at her friend "Regina's" house. Since Regina was drunk enough to be sending texts like this "ie dkon"t tinkk immer come ovre tttonihtg" to people, the man who Lindsay had previously hit with her car agreed to drive them to Regina's house in Lindsay's car. They had bonded with him for like 3 hours and he was in alcoholics anonymous and rocking the sobriety thing, so this seemed like a good idea.

Once at Regina's house: she, Lindsay, the nice guy, and his friend hung out for a while. Now your going to tell me that these dumb bitches got themselves into this situation and what was gong to happen next is largely their own fault. BUT take into consideration the fact that these girls are pretty hot, olympic gold metal drinkers, and such trouble seems to find them easier than Kathy Griffin can find the gays on an army base.

The two guys eventually call a cab to get the guy's car from the bar where it was still in valet. A few minutes later the man takes a call telling him the cab is outside. There are some standard goodbyes and the girls go to bed. Everything is fine until Lindsay stumbles outside in the morning to drive to work and her precious car is no where to be found. Silly silly (stupid) girl! Those boys never called a cab and THAT is how you get your car stolen on the Lord's day.