GURL, POP OFF

Gurls and boys, gather around there is something you should know. Gurl, pronounced geu-rrr-l, is a word that should be common place in your vocabulary. I use it towards anyone and everyone. My own father raises an eyebrow when I say things like "Gurl, where you had been gurl?" This brings me to the main reason why this word is so powerful. There is simply nothing better than calling a straight boy "gurl," because they immediately get confused as to who you are talking to. Once they realize it's obviously their dumb-ass a few things will happen. For 2 whole second their masculinity will be questioning, leaving them silent, contemplating, and passing gas. Then either they'll play along, which is fun but boring. OR they take the macho-route, which goes something like this:

You: You got a lighter gurl?

Boy: uhh WHO YOU CALLING GURL?

You: (Turn to your friend and say): "She is PISSED." This gets you an even bigger freakout, exactly what you wanted, to which you can reply, "Gurl calm down."

That should send them fuming, but if at that point they haven't picked up on the beauty of the "gurl talk" then they can, well, SUCKIT. Be aware in regions that consume high quantities of Natty-Ice and Jagarmeister, aka Riverside and Chico, because the men can be a little less forgiving, which may result in a Jersey-Shore-Snooki-Getting-Punched-Scenario. Upon introduction I love to ask people how they spell gurl and 9 out of 10 times people reply G-U-R-L, but it's the tenth person that spitefully says "G-I-R-L, DUH," who I immediately can't trust and gives me a bad taste in my mouth. Your skeptical now gurl, but trust me after a few cocktails your going to be calling your grandpa gurl this and gurl that.