GURL WHERE'S MY CAR?

Sundays are suppose to be a little more normal. You're winding down with many naps and citing things like "took a shower" or "emptied my ashtray" as highlights in activity, showing the day's lack of prolonged significance. You try to go to bed reasonably early but end up watching a poor netflix choice, thanks for recommending that jerk, and getting high. But for a certain girl whose made a splash (wink) or two on SuckitbySina before this Sunday ended with a little more baggage.

"Lindsay" was on her way out with a car full of her gays and girls. The night's events were set into motion when Lindsay ran her car into the bumper of another mass of metal on the road. The guy driving the other car got out and Lindsay did her victory-jig that their wasn't any damage done to his car. The man then accused Lindsay of being drunk, ce n'est pas vrai!, to which she casually replied, "Of course not! But, we're going out to a bar right now. Come along and I'll buy you a drink and we'll call it even."

Pretty girl invites you out for a drink? Done deal: the guy and his friend were both obviously down for that plan and everyone headed to the bar. Somewhere between 4 and 14 jamesons and a few hours of bonding, Lindsay was in no state to drive her car. She was spending the night at her friend "Regina's" house. Since Regina was drunk enough to be sending texts like this "ie dkon"t tinkk immer come ovre tttonihtg" to people, the man who Lindsay had previously hit with her car agreed to drive them to Regina's house in Lindsay's car. They had bonded with him for like 3 hours and he was in alcoholics anonymous and rocking the sobriety thing, so this seemed like a good idea.

Once at Regina's house: she, Lindsay, the nice guy, and his friend hung out for a while. Now your going to tell me that these dumb bitches got themselves into this situation and what was gong to happen next is largely their own fault. BUT take into consideration the fact that these girls are pretty hot, olympic gold metal drinkers, and such trouble seems to find them easier than Kathy Griffin can find the gays on an army base.

The two guys eventually call a cab to get the guy's car from the bar where it was still in valet. A few minutes later the man takes a call telling him the cab is outside. There are some standard goodbyes and the girls go to bed. Everything is fine until Lindsay stumbles outside in the morning to drive to work and her precious car is no where to be found. Silly silly (stupid) girl! Those boys never called a cab and THAT is how you get your car stolen on the Lord's day.