waddupjuly!

i should probably stop:

-taking trips when i'm broke

-drinking and driving

-turning into my mother

-spending so much time google-imaging animals

-makin love with one foot out the door

-listening to 102.7 kiis fm

icanteachyouhowtodoit

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SuckitbySina

PlasticJungle

i was born into money and sold down the river

i was choked by the jailor and fucked the gorilla

i ran through the country ahead of my time

I'm usually behind when it comes to music. Exhibit A: I  missed the Chromeo craze that happened six years ago and recently found out how much I like them. Whatever probably too busy trying to find "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" episodes on YouTube. For now I'm liking most things Miike Snow!

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SuckitbySina

Virgo

"Don't pin your hopes on a Virgo man if your heart is hungry for romantic dreams and fairy tales, or you'll find yourself on a starvation diet. A love affair with a  Virgo will dump a warm sentimentalist on the cold ground with a hard thud, and it can hurt."

He's not the type to serenade 

you beneath your boudoir window.

please don't take it personally

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SuckitbySina

What two strangers would you like to eat a meal of soup, salad, and breadsticks with?

THESE TWO LADIES ALL THE WAY

purple-dairy

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SuckitbySina

Vocabulary

Since it's well known that if you fart and a little shit comes out then you've "sharted," does the same rule apply when you burp and a little puke comes out? 

Would this mean you've "buked" 

or maybe you've "purped?"

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SuckitbySina

hotelrooms

like a virgin

touched for the very first time

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SuckitbySina

NickiLewinsky

nicki who you got beef with?

bitch i got beef with bein broke!

 I've been keeping my eye on my girl Nicki Minaj for a while now and after I listened to the track she did with Drake off his new album, I had to download everything she's ever done. She's Lil Wayne's female protigy, representing YoungMoney, writing all her own material, and having a big enough brain as she does ass to not fuck up her career. Below is a quote from an interview she did and you have to admit: girl makes a good point. Listen her first verse on the "Up All Night" track below starting at 1:15 and then tell  me: "which bitch you know made a million off a mixtape?" 

"I am Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinski. People say why do you call yourself Nicki Lewinsky? 'Oh my gosh, she is so degrading herself right now. Why is she calling herself that?' I felt like Monica Lewinsky took a crazy-L. I felt like she was in a position to do something big, but she didn't have the smarts to know how to use her power. And I think females do that all the time. So Lewinsky stands for the chick thats that close to the president. I'm that close to Lil Wayne, it's up to me now to use my intelligence to get to the next step. Everything is a stepping stone, everything is a tool. Monica is a dumb bitch because that bitch was too busy sucking his dick to understand that: boo you're in a private room with the president of the United States of America. She could have furthered her career. People think 'She's calling herself Nicki Lewinsky, what is she sucking Wayne's dick?' I'm smarter than that baby. If I sucked that man's dick he wouldn't be shouting my name out today. If you do your research on Wayne um.. so my thing with the Lewinsky situation was that.. she could have been a terrorist. Lewinsky could have been a terrorist. She was in the room with.. you don't understand how powerful that is. You're in the president, no bodyguards, secret service outside, you're in the room with the president..do you know how many people.. Osama would fuckin suck somebody's dick to be alone with fucking president. You know what I mean?

So the thing is women you have power in your pussy. Step your pussy up. Get what  you need, get what you want, stop hating on the next bitch. It's not about sucking some man's dick, it's about getting to the place where Monica Lewinsky got to and using it to benefit you."

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SuckitbySina

it's simple algebra

Ready for something completely shallow and straight out of Sex&theCity deleted scenes? My gurl Eva and I were talking about how she has a tendency to hookup with guys below her hotness level. I explained to her that socially this wasn't consistent because studies have shown that people hangout with and mate with people of the same caliber of attractiveness. (Yes, I did read an article about this for class. $50,000 a year education for priceless kernels of fucking knowledge like that.) I mean think about it, it makes sense right. She put up an argument saying they weren't all bad so I had the idea to find her average. It's simple, you make a list of everyone you've slept with. (If you are someone who consumes large amounts of alcohol, you should make this list over a three day period because believe me, chances are you won't recall everyone in one sitting.) Then you sit down with a close friend, a really really close friend. Why so close? One: because it's someone that you want to trust with knowing your (entire) list and two because you want an honest opinion for the next step. You go through and rate the guys on a scale of one to ten based strictly (or as much as possible, strictly) on appearance. We did this over the phone and I haven't met all of them so I logged on to her facebook to get a more accurate number for some one them. You should have a friend do it with you because you need two opinions, always. Then add it up, divide by number of guys, blah blah. Evas average hotness (i'm sorry, average hotness sounds so fuckin tacky) was around a 7.32 and I later did it to get a 7.58 for myself. I was trying to show her that if we are functioning (or fucking rather) under the idea that they're all treating you like crap, at least make it a point to only hookup with the hot ones. All that ladylike charm and coy lash batting shouldn't be wasted on the 3s and 4s walking around with a short-man-complex. 

terrysdiary

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SuckitbySina

LilWaspyBitch

indexfinger

middlefinger

pointerfinger

I just saw this picture of my good friend Sam Finger who lives in New York and not surprisingly, it made me miss him and well it made me miss Halloween too. Can you tell that he's really into fashion? The things he can do in a pair of high heels. I'm kidding? 

(Sam: don't sue me for defamation of character)

Tom&Marjorie took the pics

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SuckitbySina

Le Baron de Paris

Say hello to my little friend...

Andre! Andre! Andre! 

Andre Saraiva is the king of cool

What items do you never leave home without? 

"My passport"

I feel most comfortable when I am...

"On oxycon"

Proudest accomplishment to date?

"My dick"

interviewlink

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SuckitbySina

PartyintheUSA

the all american girl:

go ahead, fall for her, it's fun

gimme my shirt back female

happy birthday babe, 

i love you and i might be in love with you

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SuckitbySina

I'm Serious

i'm a bad babysitta

got my boyfriend in the showa

You're looking at the worlds number one YMCA camp counselor. Yea I went there. I know who the hell thought I should do that? I'm the king of the playground: tetherball, handball, four-square, hop-scotch, basketball. It's honestly like being back in the second grade but this time I'm the coolest kid in school. Yea I do feel good scoring a basket against a third grader that is about 3 foot 4 inches tall. Most of the time I walk around complimenting peoples coloring and singing the YMCA song, arm motions and all. Things are good.

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SuckitbySina

SecretDiaryofaCallGirl

"I love London. I love its rudeness, its lack of community, its impatience. I even love its weather. But most of all, I love its anonymity. The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore. In a world of children in bikinis and grandmas in fucking boots, the surest way to tell a prostitute is to look for the woman in the designer suit."

Billie Piper as Belle de Jour

icanteachyouhowtodoit

I've just finished watching all three seasons of Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I really want to become an escort. But I was thinking I should only have sex with women that are looking to pay. But then I thought what women are out there paying for sex? They can just give it away. But if I only have sex with women then it would be even more like a job and I could almost justify it, because I wouldn't be enjoying it well that much. I've never cared about having someone around all the time, it seems less natural to me. I couldn't figure out why for the longest time and frankly I can't now either. I think it's because of how selfish I am with how I spend my time.  Someone I slept with e-mailed me my horoscope with a title line that said, "This explains a lot." It actually did and I sent back a reply that said, "See it's the stars fault that I'm an asshole!"

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SuckitbySina

SmoothCriminal

REAL MEN USE A BLADE

When I was packing up my apartment I threw my electric razor into a box and put it into storage. Not really smart thinking when you are going to need it all summer. So I bought some razors and borrowed some shaving cream and was about to go at it, when I looked at Emma and stopped. The idea of putting a blade to my face was hugely disheartening especially after years of hearing girls bitch about cuts from razors on their legs. I like my face the way it is and I recently added a scar to my left cheek (thanks Dexter) and am not looking to start a collection. So Emma and I decided to do our research. We YouTubed "how to shave" and watched the black man in the video below. Some people have their dads show them the ropes, some turn to black men on YouTube for help. Finally I was ready to grow a pair and do the damn thing. Emma snapped a pic as I tentatively took my first swipe. Basically it's just like using those window washers at the gas station and I don't know why no one had never told me that before. 

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SuckitbySina

DrugDealerGirl

Now ya may never be on the maybelline commercial

butcho always let me know when you got some purple

mike posner

He has this voice that when you sing along you feel like you sound exactly like him. Try it! That and the lyrics are just on point.

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SuckitbySina