Street Level Avec Perfect Strangers

Although the world is becoming largely non-smoking fucking everywhere, there is one bench I refuse to not smoke on. Outside the cafeteria you get a constant flow of the most insane and intellectual, stoned and sober, stressed and blessed: variety of precious human specimen. It's such a prime piece of people-watching-real-estate that my day isn't complete without at least a half hour daily bench session. 

Sitting there I came across this little lady. I had to double-take because my mind couldn't grasp the concept that someone would tattoo testicles on their foot.

When I asked to take a picture she explained that it "takes balls to get a tattoo on your foot," so she literally GOT BALLS TATTOOED ON HER FOOT. That is so high up on the insanity scale that it has actually wrapped around and become PURE GENIUS. (This reasoning is much like the concept that the reality tv star known as "New York" is so fucking ghetto that she has actually become fabulous.)

I though that was all. But I had one more gift coming from Baby Jesus, and it came in the form of the 12 inch "cock" she had tattooed on her calve. It's a rooster but you get the pun. So let's get this straight, she now has a cock and a pair of balls.

Lastly she showed me a chocolate chip cookie tattooed on her inner ankle. She went on to tell me that she and her friends like to refer to their vaginas as "cookies," so she got a tattoo of one.

I asked her if she would have gotten a cartoon of Pokemon's Pikachu tattooed, if she happened to call it her "Pikachu." The sarcasm was lost in translation and she loyally replied, "Probably."