"I never said I was a rolemodel"

With some help from up-and-coming rapper Natalie Portman, I'd like to formally launch the "I am NOT a rolemodel" campaign. If you never ever: said, thought, wrote down, or sang those words, NOT ONCE in your life: YOU ARE IN. We are lucky, living in an age were you currently can use a number of standard broad excuses for even your most ridiculous faults. When my boss asks why I'm 45 minutes late for work? "Sorry, there's a really bad case of swine flu going around. If a cop pulls you over for running a red light? "The economy is hitting everyone really hard." Elise's personal favorite is the "I drink alot" excuse to nearly everything.

While these excuses are invaluable, they are temporary. If you need a lifelong get-out-of-jail-free card: "I never said I was a rolemodel" is your savior. As long as you don't care to be an example for others, continue the hazardous absurd ways! Join the motha-fuckin movement.