WATCH YO BACK!

Master prankster and quite the vengeful bitch at times, EvatheDiva breaks it down on how and why to stalk your ex. With the internet, that tacky twitter thing, the late night show "Cheaters," and straight up stalking, keeping tabs has never been easier. Better watch yo back:

We all do it and don't even try to pretend like you don't. Casually stalking your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is totally normal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, it's not my fault that his house is on the way home from work and I happen to know what kind of car his new girlfriend drives. It's also not my fault that I have the password to his facebook account or know his favorite restaurant and have been eating there everyday since we broke up. Whatever, call it what you want to call it. 

So one night my friend "Kelli" and I are getting stoned and watching re-runs of Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love- when, believe it or not, after several hours we got bored. So I decide me and my sidekick Kelli need to get into some trouble. Giving the combination of our history as master pranksters and my recent breakup- we immediately looked each other in the eye and knew what needed to be done.

So we make a couple calls and find out that my ex-boyfriend is gambling his money away (per usual) at the casino and DEFINITELY won't be home for hours. Bingo! We grab a roll or two of toilet paper, hop in the car and discuss our plan of assault over the 8 minute drive to his residence.

Dressed in all black, we park up the street a little to make sure no one sees my car if they drive by. Remember details make or break a good prank. We were planning on just going full force with the high school style Tee-Pee prank, when Kelli suggested we check to see if any of the windows were open. Genius! This is why we make a great team. 

So we start on one side and move around the perimeter of the house and sure enough, the dumbass had left the guest bathroom window: unlocked! We slide it open and she helps me climb through so I can go unlock the door and let her in. We were contemplating just TP’ing the inside of his house but opted that it would be way funnier if we also re-arranged all his furniture. So exactly what we did. We were like crazy little mexican workers frantically moving the couch over there, coffee table to the kitchen, dining table to the office etc. I think you catch my drift.

The next day, like clockwork, ex-boy calls Kelli (they have been good friends for several years) and tells her what happened. Kelli is asking him questions like, ”Oh my god…did they steal anything??” and “Wow, that’s so weird…who the fuck would do that??” 

The best part is that he picked up some skank on the way home and when they walked in the house he nearly shit his pants in front of her! HAHA sucka. He had an alarm system installed a couple days later and still has no idea who did it.