Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Daily Dealbreaker

The summer is almost here and the heat is rising. Everything is sticky and you might think it's alright cause everyone is sweating. Nah check it.

Dealbreaker #5:
"I won't date you if you sweat when not "active," specifically on the forehead armpits, chest, and back.

Let me define active: working out (dancing definitely counts), manual labor, sex, or an intensely high pressure situation: like getting mugged or meeting Kate Moss. But if you sweat when sitting at your computer typing or ordering a burrito at the taqueria, I know myself well enough to know that that shit is not only gross, but a total dealbreaker. When even the slightest glistening pearl of salty sweat forms on an unactive persons forehead a prospect can jekyll and hyde in front of my eyes into the most unfuckable noob, before I ever have the chance to fight against my shallow state of existence.

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