Trad'r Sams

Tuesdays are tricky. Far enough away from the last weekend that you forget all the fun you had, but too far from the next weekend to hold out for it. Hence Tuesdays have inevitably become a party night. Investigations still pending on why or how this came about, but the beds been made, so get in and shutup.

After three classes with a girl who has weathered 20 New Orleans Mardi Gras in her day, Elise: we were ready. Hearing sooo much about the damn big ass drinks at Trad'r Sams and always down for a tacky dive bar, I grabbed my dismally empty wallet and headed over.

Holy Shit. Hawaiian printed canvas couches with fake bamboo canopies held canoodling couples. (Damn thats alot of c's.)12 middle aged men nursing foamy beers focused on the sports game on the flat screen behind the bar. Pineapples and oranges seemed to be floating in the air as Jimmy Buffet's "Pina Coladas" blared on repeat. It was your Uncle Larry's wet dream and of course we loved it too.

Let's get serious. One Scorpian Bowl drink serves four. Shits big but I was weary of the fruit and bubbly crap he was pouring into the blender. HOMIE TRUST. We posted up, two straws each, and began doing work on our version of the "superbowl."

Before: Things are civilized. Sitting, sipping like a lady. Making cheeky conversation and daring each other to hit on the bouncer

During: Feeling pretty sexy. The straws are no longer working fast enough and our girl has resorted to straight up Oliver Twist face-in-bowl style. The bowl is huge and we were antsy for a cigarette. Stay tuned.

After: Shit is hitting the fan and it's hitting it hard. We have now started to play with the drink ornaments and using the classy cherry come hither effect. Now outwardly spewing what we were formerly only thinking about the people around us. By this point I'm beginning to respect Trad'r Sam cause I am belting out the wrong lyrics to a LeeAnn Rhymes classic. Mission accomplished.

The night ended with one whiskey and coke drinking contest, two blocks stumbled home, and a special viewing of The Patriot, starring Mel Gibson. Are you fucking kidding me.