I love lists. I love making them, reading them, dreaming & creaming about them. Some in the past have been: things I like that start with the letter p (pineapple juice, printers, pranks)or the "I like you more than ____" list (STD's, taxes, not being tan). These are usually long (50+items) and hugely time consuming, but try it: a spliff and a list a day keeps the doctor away.
An all time favorite is the "Dealbreaker: I won't date you if" list. A few friends and I compiled the list of 60 or so red flags for dating a while back and I've begun to write explanations. It's all in good fun, but seriously take off the fucking Ed Hardy gear, we don't do that here.
Dealbreaker #1:
"I won't date you if-you've been featured on an episode of COPS."
Let me be clear, this does not exclude all ex-cons or if you've been to jail. While currently having a "cell #" be a part of your home address is a knockout dealbreaker being an ex-con can sometimes be, well kinda hot. However the world of COPS is one of high speed chases through Southern swamp land, 6 hour long hostage stand-offs, genital warts, and so many other versions of a person's rock-bottom. Shits trashy and I'd rather bang a regular guest on Jerry Springer.
*Those of you who already saw this particular DB in the Godless zine: shutup. There's more on the way.
Awww, how did you know I had my Ed Hardy gear on?
ReplyDeleteLove it so far...